brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
