Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
