i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
