We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
