my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
