I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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