Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
