i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
