And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
