Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
God, I missed his penis.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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