Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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