i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
