Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
