You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
