why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
