i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
