Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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