what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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