I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My cat gives me a boner
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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