Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
