Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
