I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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