i barfeds in our rink
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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