No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I will pee on everything he values.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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