My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
