it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
