Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
