new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
