His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
