Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No subtext here. People are naked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
