Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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