Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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