Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
