Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
