she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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