not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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