We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
