all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
