Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
