how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
