dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
