Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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