Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
