My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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