____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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