i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
