Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
