I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
