last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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