we're blogging at a bar
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
