I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
