I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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