It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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