I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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